Three steps to living a more natural life

“You and Me baby ain’t nothing but mammals”

Thanks for the reminder Bloodhound Gang! It's 2018, and we've forgotten who we are. At a time where, here in the Western world, we have the privilege of warm safe homes, fantastic employment opportunities, endless clothes, food and coffee shops, and technology galore, we've lost our roots. Children and Teenagers of the modern technological age have lost touch with nature, with their bodies, with their gut instinct, with their spirituality. Life in the fast lane has plucked us out of our natural habitat and plonked us in front of screens, advertising and selling, all telling us who we should be.

And this picture of who we should be is taken as the measure of success: We should have a semi-detached house with a garage, two cars, 2.5 children and a dog. A TV in every room, a mobile phone and laptop for each family member, including the dog. Designer clothes, sunglasses and handbags. Both parents with high profile jobs but who also share the parenting and household chores. A disposable income that allows for a holiday abroad every year and for both kids to go off to university. This image of a successful life is sold to us everywhere we look from birth and subconsciously it seeps in until we are striving for this perfect life. We want to keep up with our friends, we want to have the Facebook posts that make our friends jealous. My husband and I have certainly had times in our marriage where we've looked at other couples and thought "We should have that" or "We should be doing that." We’ve become frustrated with this feeling that our home, our marriage and our family life should look a certain way. The pressure of keeping up with the Jones' has become too much.

What if we step back from this life that's being sold to us and think about who we really are? That's exactly what I've been drawn to do since becoming a mum. The more I ponder, read and research, the more it becomes obvious, and in the words of Bloodhound Gang, we ain't nothing but mammals!

“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt” Margaret Atwood, Bluebeard’s Egg.

Just as other mammals, my natural environment is outside - I find a sense of calm and balance when at the beach or walking through the woods. I love feeling my bare feet on the ground and gloriously warm sunshine on my face, I love running my hands through sand or up and down tree trunks - Yes, I hug trees! I love listening to waves crashing, the wind rustling through the trees and birds singing. I love smelling earthy mud, freshly cut grass and honeysuckle. I love to see how alive each member of my family become when outside, and how peaceful they are after a day spent exploring our natural environment. In my ten years of working with children, I notice how being outside makes children less tense, less anxious and more joyous. I want my daughter to grow up at one with the outdoors; I want to become one with the outdoors.

Miri loves the beach

“I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner.” Barry Humphries.

Just as other mammals, my natural body is hairy. I have arm pit hair, pubic hair, leg hair, toe hair . . . I even have three little hairs growing out of my chin mole! The hair on our bodies is there for a reason, it has protective and cleansing properties.  Women, and men, feel that in order to be socially accepted, they have to shave, wax and pluck until their bodies are totally bald and smooth. Our bodies were not designed to be bald! We are being sold an image of a perfect hairless body because it keeps us buying beauty products. We live in a consumer-based society, which makes us feel bad about our natural normal bodies to make us consume, to spend money! Let me tell you something, its completely normal to have hair around your genitals! It’s completely normal to have hair under your arms! Let's talk about shampoo, a product most of us use every day. Do other mammals continuously use a chemical rich product on their hair to keep it healthy? No! We have been sold the idea that our hair needs to be cleaned with chemicals everyday by the beauty industry. I have been a lifelong daily shampoo-er. But this journey I'm on to live a more natural life has led me to the no-poo movement. Our bodies are designed to clean themselves and are perfectly equipped to do so. I trust my body’s natural process. I want my daughter to be completely comfortable with her body in its natural normal state; I want to be comfortable with my body in its natural normal state.

“Your body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in.” B.K.S Iyengar.

Just as other mammals, my body needs vitamins and minerals from the Earth to be healthy. Our bodies are designed to eat natural foods from the Earth. For around 9 years I've been drawn to eating as naturally as possible, which to me means fruit, vegetables and meat in their most natural forms. Any kind of processed, preservative & sugar laden food, although highly advertised and readily available, are not good for our bodies, souls or minds. Mammals in the natural world do not eat food made in a factory, they eat what the Earth gives them seasonally. I am addicted to chocolate, and although I made the switch from sugary milk chocolate to dark chocolate, I still eat it every day! I give my daughter processed foods, which are quick and easy for me to have ready for her, and I feel incredibly guilty about it. Before having children, on seeing premade baby and toddler snacks I'd turn my nose up and say "Why don't you just give your child a piece of fruit?!" Maybe it's not as simple as that, but maybe it is! We've already started eating and feeding our daughter more intentionally and, thank goodness, she absolutely loves nature's candy - fruit! I want my daughter to have a passion for real whole foods; I want to have a passion for real whole foods.

When I turned 21 9 years ago (9 years, how did that happen?!), a couple of seeds were planted when I started yoga. Little awakenings which led me to making non-toxic household cleaner, using a menstrual cup for the first time and experimenting with going vegan; I even started a blog about it which is probably still out there lurking in the depths of the internet. Over the years, those seeds turned to seedlings, but having to battle against the norm, the influence of social media and life's up and downs, they stayed deep down beneath the surface. Now, in the year I turn 30 and having been through the wild experience of becoming a mum, I am ready for my seedlings to blossom into fantastically vibrant blooms. I am ready to fully embrace my natural instinct and calling to reconnect with nature and live in a more natural way.

Do you live closely with the natural world? Do you make your own beauty products or grow your own veggies? If so, I’d love to hear from you.

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My coeliac diagnosis story

“And I’ll rise up, I’ll rise like the day.”

As it’s the end of Coeliac Awareness week 2018, I thought I’d share my diagnosis story. It starts back in 2005 when I was 17. I went to the doctor as every evening I would have a bloated and hard tummy and lots of wind. The bloating was so bad that trousers that normally fit me would need to be undone. I was diagnosed with IBS caused by anxiety and stress. I was offered one counselling session for the anxiety by the GP’s recommended counsellor, where we discussed many aspects of my life on a general level. I was offered no advice or treatment for the IBS. At this time in my life, I would be eating toast for breakfast, cookies in the college café, shop bought sandwiches for lunch and, at least once a week, take away pizza for dinner. My diet wasn’t discussed at the GP appointment.

17 years old with a bloated tummy

Fast forward to 2012, which is the next period that I remember my physical health affecting my day to day life. I was teaching in my first reception class after 4 years of university. The school was headed by an ex OFSTED inspector and was run like a military operation; I hated it and was very stressed and absolutely exhausted. I remember wondering how the other teachers were getting through each day without yawning all afternoon and brain fog causing them to forget important events or conversations. It would be no surprise to you to read that an undiagnosed autoimmune disease and an extremely highly pressured career do not go hand in hand, and I didn’t complete the school year.

After leaving my teaching job I began working as the deputy manager of a day nursery, and it was around this time that I had my first realisation that I needed to exercise and eat healthily! I started going to the gym and making soups to take to work for lunch. I researched how to put a healthy soup together and pearl barley kept coming up, so in it went. Every afternoon by 2pm, I looked around 6 months pregnant and I’d have to undo my trousers under my nursery uniform. I went back to the doctor about this and again it was put down to IBS caused by the stress of my job. I began to do yoga as soon as I got home from work every day to help with the stress, which (without going in to too much detail) would release the wind in my tummy. The yoga working to release symptoms reinforced the wrong diagnosis of IBS.

From 2013 to 2015, I went vegan. I didn’t mean to! I innocently picked up a diet booked called ‘Skinny Bitch’ and thought ‘That sounds like my kind of diet book!’ It wasn’t until half way through that I realised I was going vegan, however everything I had read in the book made sense and resonated with me, so I went for it. Looking back, this was the healthiest I had ever felt. I had energy and I didn’t feel bloated. By completely changing my diet to a plant-based diet, I had inadvertently cut down massively on the amount of gluten I was eating.

Eating pizza in Rome

In April 2015 my new husband and I honeymooned in Italy. We stayed in hotels in Rome, Florence, Venice and Lake Garda. Each morning began with the hotel buffet breakfast of cereals, croissants, toast, cheese and ham. My body wasn’t used to this, as since starting my vegan journey I religiously had a smoothie for breakfast every morning. Obviously, the rest of the day was spent eating pasta, pizza and tiramisu. Although our honeymoon was absolutely incredible (romantic and delicious!), I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t make it through the day without an afternoon nap. My husband wanted to continue exploring but everyday after lunch my energy levels dramatically dropped, and I just couldn’t continue until I’d had some shut eye. My husband was very patient with me, even though at the time we had no idea why I couldn’t make it through the day!

My sister and I pregnant at the same time. Where are my eyes?!

August 2015 brought the fantastic news that I was pregnant! What started of as an intention to have a vegan yoga-filled natural pregnancy and birth, ended with me craving anything with carbs or sugar, particularly mars bar milkshakes and bacon! By 40 weeks pregnant, after eating gluten in most meals, I was so swollen all over my body I could hardly move. My eyes were tiny little slits and my ankles and feet were balloons. My labour lasted 32 hours and my daughter was born two pounds lighter than was expected. Since diagnosis, I have found out that women with undiagnosed coeliac are more likely to have low birth weight babies. With the amount of blood tests, midwife/doctor appointments and hospital stays I had during and just after pregnancy, I feel very let down that the disease wasn’t picked up at this point.

After Miri was born, the swelling hung around for months and months. I cannot find the words to describe the physical and emotional exhaustion that I felt. Yes, I was tired from a long labour. Yes, I was tired from the throws of the fourth trimester. However, no matter how much I slept, I was running on empty. I could have a full nights sleep, with my husband doing the night feeds and the early morning feed, and I’d still be so exhausted that I couldn’t function. I couldn’t string sentences together, I forgot words, I couldn’t manage my time, I couldn’t remember things, and the main effect of my exhaustion was the emotional turmoil. As I was already running on empty, already only just coping, if I felt something had gone wrong I would hysterically cry. And once the tap was turned on, there was no turning it off; Until I had slept it off, I was crying! When Miri was 6 months old, I was diagnosed with post-natal depression, with a treatment of a gym subscription and cognitive behavioural therapy. Both of these activities helped me immensely, however I had started making a list of other physical oddities that I had started to notice: bumps on my hands, mouth sores, gas that would clear a room, joint pain in my knuckles and elbows, itchy flaky skin on my legs, and the ever-present anxiety and bloated tummy.

I took this list to my new GP in July 2017 and she sent me for a blood test, not telling me what I was being tested for. I received a phone a call with the news that the blood test had shown positive for the antibody that suggests coeliac disease, but I had to continue eating gluten until after an endoscopy. During the wait for the endoscopy, I spent every evening researching coeliac disease and I was convinced that I had it and that I’d had it for years. In November 2017, rather predictably by this point, the endoscopy showed flattened villi and confirmed that I am a coeliac.

Happy since diagnosis

Since diagnosis and giving up gluten, I can make it through the day without a nap and stay up past 10pm! I don’t crawl to the end of the day, in fact I am often surprised when my husband walks through the door at the end of day. I have started a new job at our local council, and my work life balance is working very well. One of the greatest changes is in my mental health. Although I am still an anxious person, I am no longer depressed and no longer let anxiety fill my brain. I am much clearer headed and rational and I’m now able to live intentionally, following my dreams and finding out who I truly am. I am so grateful for my diagnosis.

Are there similarities in your coeliac diagnosis or symptoms? If so, I’d love to hear from you.

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My yoga teacher training registration

“Don’t let me get me, I’m my own worst enemy” 

I think of myself as a quitter. I quit things. I fail. I start something and never finish it. I’m a loser. I’m a fake.

My creative yet anxious mind fills silences and empty spaces with ideas, plans and lists! You might notice it in my writing - always with the lists. Moments other people may be relaxing, my mind will be onto the next big thing. A project that I’m super enthusiastic about, finally I’ve found the one! Finally, the best idea I’ve had yet, the one I’m going to complete! And I’m super into it, I obsess, everything becomes directed towards the big plan. Until . . . I’m exhausted. I’ve used all my energy obsessively thinking, to the point where the fun idea becomes a task. Its overwhelming, too much. I spend a whole day in bed getting over it. And what’s that I can hear while laying in bed? Silence. Better fill it! And so the cycle continues. . .

2018 seems to have become the year of change for me. I’m focusing on healing my gut after finally getting a diagnosis for all the weird symptoms I’ve had over the years – Coeliac Disease. I’ve also decided to recondition my core after childbirth two years ago (Two years? Where did that go?). l’m dedicated to living closer to nature (see this blog post). Also, and this is the biggie, I’m turning 30 in July. When I turned 25 I had an emotional breakdown about all the things I hadn’t achieved yet, which resulted in me standing in the sea in wellies alone drinking rose wine from the bottle. Trying to avoid that again this year, thus ‘30 ways to celebrate being 30’ was born. Yes I know, another list, another task to complete, will I ever learn?

“The age of thirty is just the beginning of a period of some stability, and as such one feels young and full of energy. But, at the same time, a period of life has passed, which makes one melancholy, thinking that some things will never come back.” Vincent Van Gogh.

30 ways to celebrate being 30 has been such a positive way to start 2018, and has led me to some new and fun experiences (blog post coming soon). It’s actually done something more profound than just ‘fun’ though; It’s led me back to my passion of 9 years – yoga. Number eight on the list was to attend a yoga workshop, which I did in March with Katy Appleton from Appleyoga. Wow, it sparked something deep down inside of me. Stepping on to my mat for the first time in months I felt nervous and shy, wondering ‘Will I be able to do this?’ I soon got back into the flow and breathing, and then the old magical gold sparkle surrounded me and I was home.

And then something incredible happened, the universe presented me with an opportunity, an opportunity to realise a dream that I’ve had for years – yoga teacher training. It was made for me – the timing, the location, the teacher – it was perfect. But for days I couldn’t bring myself to apply.

What if I fail?
What if I quit?W
What if my anxiety stops me going to class? 
What if my mind flutters on to the next big idea?
What if this is just another of my crazy ideas that soon fades?

When something means so much to you, when something could truly change your life, it becomes so precious. Dare you take it, and risk breaking it? I’ve wanted to do yoga teacher training for so long, but there’s always been a little voice telling me I’m not good enough or I’m not authentic enough. I can’t possibly sign up to the thing I dream of, I’m a quitter. I can’t put myself through quitting my dream. This negativity surrounded me for a week, and for someone who usually makes a decision in seconds always following their gut instinct, this was a painfully long time!

The only way I was going to follow my ambition was to question my view of myself. I needed to prove to myself that I could finish the course, that I could complete yoga teacher training.  Out came my journal and I did what I do best, I wrote a list. On one page, all the things I’ve ever quit. On the other page, all the things I did not quit. I genuinely believed that the list of things I had quit was going to be so long. To my utter surprise there were only 5 things on the list, two of them being diets and exercise regimes; We’ve all quit one of these at some point, right?  My list of things I did not quit? Over 20!

“Being positive doesn’t mean ignoring the negative. Being positive means overcoming the negative.” Marcandangel.com.

A feeling of pure joy, a warm feeling that started in my heart centre and travelled round my whole body, made the decision for me right there and then. I sent my registration form without a second thought and in September 2018 I will start my 200-hour Yoga Alliance yoga teacher training course. I have realised my dream, and I am 100% certain and determined that I will not quit. Retraining the brain to override those negative self-doubting thoughts takes practice, but seeing black and white evidence that those thoughts were wrong was an instant winner.

I am a self-starter. I achieve things. I start something and then finish it. I live authentically and follow my dreams.

What fears have you overcome to achieve something great? Would love to hear in the comments below!

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Our Wildventure Begins . . .

“Baby, you’re a firework. Come on, let your colours burst”

 Imagine this . . .  Your husband hasn’t been himself for a while, just a bit grumpier and snappier than normal, seemingly lost in daydreams some of the time. You wait for an uneventful day and quiet evening to gently ask if everything’s ok. Your expecting the usual answer: “I’m fine, just tired” or “It’s just work.” You're expecting to give him a hug and both agree that everything will be ok in the end. What you’re not expecting is what happened to me a couple of months ago. It went something like this:

“No, everything’s not ok. I hate my job, I hate working in an office 9-5. I want to be outside, it’s awful being indoors all day every day. But I can’t quit my job because we have a mortgage to pay. I also hate where we live, I feel claustrophobic and like everything’s closing in on me. I want a bigger house, I want our daughters to have their own rooms, I want to see fields from my garden, I want to spend the weekends gardening and teaching our daughter bush crafts. But we can’t move and stay in the town we live now because we’ve been outpriced by the housing market. I feel like I’m an awful dad and husband because I’m not present or jolly enough. I want to be kinder and play with you both when you’re playing. But I can’t because I just don’t feel happy.”

Woah! Talk about dropping a bombshell!

The look on my husband’s face was one I can only describe as heartbreak and exhaustion mixed into one. Tears were shed, cuddles were had, and many cups of tea were poured that evening, my mind racing and jumping all over the place. In the space of an hour, my life had gone from pretty cushty to completely up in the air. 

My husband leaving his job would mean us loosing our main source of income. How would we pay the bills? What would we live off? What job would he do? What about childcare? Would I need to change my job?

Moving to a new house would mean moving out of the county we currently live in; Moving away from my family, our friends, our jobs, our daughter’s friends and childcare. Infact, it would mean moving away from everything I’ve ever known as I’ve only ever lived in this town!

All these questions and thoughts ran through my mind as I comforted my husband. These changes are not little adaptations to our current life in order to create a better work:life balance. This a complete life shake up. This is going somewhere completely new and starting again. This is changing everything our daughter’s ever know.

Eventually, my husband looked me in the eyes and said: “What do you think?”

I looked back at him, holding his hand and answered with my gut instinct guiding me as always: “Let’s do it! Let’s go get the life we dream of!”

“Leaving what feels secure behind and following the beckoning of our hearts doesn’t always end as we expect or hope. But here’s the payoff: it can be amazing, wonderful and immensely satisfying.” Steve Goodier.

My husband has been here for me through thick and thin. He’s coaxed me along during anxiety attacks, he didn’t leave my side through the 32 hour birth of our daughter, he’s picked me up from the puddle of tears I’ve led in during post-natal depression, he’s got up every single morning at 6 am since our daughter was born because he knows tiredness is my main trigger for an anxious/depressive episode, he’s given up eating foods containing gluten since my coeliac diagnosis, he doesn’t snap back if I’m being hormonal, he encourages me to follow my dreams, supporting all my projects. My husband continuously forgives, encourages and loves unconditionally. He is an incredibly attentive husband and dad. And hence the only answer I could possibly have given to his upset, is one of absolute support and positivity.

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Robert Quillen.

Since that evening, we have each written a list of our dream lives. Imagine your perfection . . . Where would you be living? What would your home look like? How would you earn an income? What would your family look like? How would you spend your spare time?  We both answered these questions and then, over a delicious glass of red one spring evening, we tentatively compared our notes. And guess what?! Our dream lives are exactly the same!

We are going to live in a house in the countryside with at least three bedrooms, a garage or some outbuildings and a garden big enough to grow veg, have a mud kitchen, plant flowers and have a bbq. We are going to be free from 9-5 employment, we will earn an income creatively and hopefully through our property (e.g. b&b or airb&b). We will live a simple life and be much more in tune with nature (e.g. making our own beauty and cleaning products, and growing fruit and veg in the garden, following the seasons). We will home educate our daughter using the outside as our classroom, following her natural curiosity and love for learning. We will eat healthily and exercise regularly, incorporating yoga and meditation. We will live as a unit and our lifestyle will very much be family, nature and home based.

We have also decided on three core family values that will overarch everything we do:

·         Live your truth

·         Live compassionately

·         Live cleanly

My husband and I floated around in an excited cloud for a few weeks, searching on Right Move for gorgeous houses and keeping this our own little secret. But then real life took over and we slipped back into our normal weekly routine. The grumpiness returned. One afternoon I saw a fantastic quote whilst scrolling aimlessly through the internet (as you do!): “A dream written down with a date becomes a goal. A goal broken down into steps becomes a plan. A plan backed by action becomes reality.”

My husband and I broke out the red again and put a date on our dream life. We will be living our dream life by Easter weekend 2019.

“Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” Fawn Weaver.

This blog will document our journey in an honest and real way, I’ll talk about all aspects of our dream to live a simple, nature-based lifestyle. This is the start of something great and I’d love for you to follow along.

What does your dream life look like? Let me know in the comments below! 

 

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